25 Random Things: Revisited

 The last time I dug into consistent blogging, I created a post with 25 random things about me. Many of those things are still true. Others have changed. But as I dive back into blogging after 5 years away, now as a person who feels fully different and yet somehow still very much the same (though with a different lens of understanding), here are 25 new facts about me:

1. My favorite beverage on the planet is iced tea (brewed iced tea, though I discovered a couple of years ago that Gold Peak will do in a pinch). This would probably surprise the circle of friends who associate me with a falsely-presumed Mountain Dew addiction. Or the co-workers who know that I prefer pop (Cherry Coke) to coffee in the morning, and, lately, to water the rest of the day. That said, I recently discovered that if I want to have any prayer at productivity on any given day, my best bet is to start my day with a can of Cherry Coke - otherwise my brain will be scattered or immovable all day, and absolutely nothing will get done (or I'll push through that, use up all the mental/emotional energy I had for the following week, and send myself into a meltdown over something relatively minor in the days that follow).

2. My ranking of favorite seasons is as follows: Fall, Winter, Spring, Summer. Fall is perfection. The temperatures are comfortably cool, most of the bugs are dying, and the leaves are gorgeous. Winter brings the beauty and peace of snow (most years) plus an invigoratingly crisp scent. Spring has those moderate temperatures, but everything being wet and soggy from the snow melt kind of dampens the mood (pun only half-intended). Summer is gross - it's hot and humid and there are bugs, but in the Midwest people expect you to be outdoors and enjoying all of that grossness. No, thank you. At least I get to follow up my least favorite season with my favorite one each year (except those years when summer decides to linger partway into fall, and then I get many levels of cranky).

3. I love going for long walks. As in 2+ hours. Sometimes I like walking alone or just with my dog. But other times I wish I had more friends to go on walks with me because it allows time for long conversation with continually changing scenery (and also burns off the anxious energy that I feel in pretty much every social situation ever in ways much more effective and less noticeable than, say, fidgeting with my beverage container to no end, which is what happens pretty much everywhere else).

4. The Minnesota Landscape Arboretum is one of my favorite places on the planet, and I avoid making any weekend plans from mid-September through late October because I want to spend as much time there as possible during my favorite season. The unpaved trails are my favorite - peaceful, scenic, and easy on the knees. Though I do have a favorite bench and a favorite wildlife-watching spot that are closer to the paved trails (it's possible you have a problem when you've memorized the location of a specific, often-occupied chipmunk burrow...). Sidenote: the Arboretum Eatery is notably good.

View from my favorite bench. No, I won't tell you where it is.

See, it's worth knowing where the chipmunk burrow is.

5. I love taking photos. Wildlife photos and candid people photos are my favorites. But I hate the sorting & editing process that follows. This makes PhotoPass photographer at a character meet my realistic Disney Parks dream job because I'd get to do all of the fun people candids with no sorting/editing to do afterwards. (That said, I won't ever be pursuing said job on account of I have no desire to ever live anywhere further south than I already do - See #2 on how I feel about the seasons.)

6. One of Disney World's water parks opened the day I was born. So when the stars aligned for my teaching schedule to allow me to take a whirlwind weekend solo trip to Disney World for my 30th birthday, I jumped at the chance. Highlights included a stay in a Contemporary Resort Theme Park View Room (best splurge ever - literally awoke to early morning fireworks over the castle on my birthday), spending time with my birthday twin waterpark on our shared 30th birthday, a "Happy Birthday serenade by former Casey's Corner Pianist extraordinaire, Jim Omohundro, and my first-ever viewing of the "Happily Ever After" fireworks show at Magic Kingdom. I know that "Best Birthday Ever" is a Disney fan cliché for birthdays spent at the parks, but it truly was my favorite birthday ever (though a part of me may forever feel guilty that my favorite birthday experience was spent on my own rather than with friends and/or family like a normal person).

For the record, photos do not do justice to how close those Magic Kingdom icons actually are to that hotel room balcony.

7. In my younger years, I spent so much time missing being at Bible camp that I decided to invent one of my own in my hometown that was open year-round so that I could pretend that I spent nearly all my time there. Did I pretend to do all the camp things? A little. But mostly, I picked counselors, assigned kids I knew to cabins with said counselors, created a camp map, made up a weekly schedule, created counselor schedule assignments (there was a worship schedule, a campfire schedule, a free time assignments schedule, a cabin swap schedule, etc.), outline potential Bible study themes, and wrote a couple of staff musicals to completion (and others less to completion). I'm pretty sure this isn't how the normal kids played camp...

8. I have a spreadsheet hobby. Some guide my TV/movie rewatch habits (the Hallmark movie ones and the Law & Order: SVU one). Some guide my hobby purchasing habits (the Sims 4 DLC one and the slime restock one). Some guide my vacation plans (so many Disney World spreadsheets). And my most recently-created one tracks my lived experiences against diagnostic criteria so that if I ever find a trustworthy psychology professional again, I can hand my spreadsheet to them and say "I think that some things were missed when I got my current official diagnoses, and here's why."

9. Back in 2017 when slime was starting to get popular, I was the middle school teacher who kept coming home with bits and pieces of slime on my shoes and pants, horribly annoyed at the students who kept bringing slime into my classroom (especially after slime was banned at my school). Fast-forward to present day when I have a large slime collection, a decent-sized slime-making supply collection, and a small-but-growing collection of professional slimer merch (Rainbow Slime Girl, aka Sasha, has my slime loyalty for all eternity). I've also become a bit of a slime-vangelist whose response to any friend who says "I don't let my kids have slime" is to try to help them understand that slime doesn't have to be the messy headache they've imagined it to be. (First - Try cloud slime from a reputable small business slimer; it doesn't stick to anything, won't even pick up dog fur off the surface you just accidentally flung it at, not that I would know from experience or anything... Second - White vinegar, a scrub brush, and some water for rinsing are all you need to clean up a slime mess in under 5 minutes - and I've taught a kid as young as 7 years old to do nearly all of the work themselves, still in that short amount of time).

This was my slime collection 10 months ago. It's notably larger now...

10. At age 33, I finally fulfilled my lifelong dream of taking a dance class. It was everything I dreamed it would be and better. (Who knew I'd love tap so much?) It also probably very literally saved my life in a year where my brain was otherwise in a very not good place (and I don't say that lightly).

11. In times when I need music to help clear my head, my go-to choices are The Piano Guys (if I'm in a reflective mood, especially if I'm also trying not to spiral), the Epcot Entrance Loop (if I need to focus on a task), and the live original Broadway cast recording of Six (because sometimes you just need to surround yourself with a bunch of bad-ass women - even if they're semi-fictional - and rock it out).

12. My all-time favorite choir audition included being asked to sing "The Star-Spangled Banner" but in minor, by ear, on the spot, having one of the directors jump in partway through an a made-up minor harmony, and then being asked to spontaneously switch to being the one making up the minor harmony while the director switched to the minor melody. And I killed it. It was one of my proudest moments as a musician. It was also among the most fun things I've ever done as a singer.

13. As an arts educator, I've always tried my best to show up at my friends' kids performances. Over the past year, instead of me just showing up, one of their teens started inviting me directly. I consider this to be one of the greatest compliments I have ever received as a human being.

14. I sometimes do living room karaoke with my friends; it's actually one of my favorite activities to do with them. My go-to songs are "Anybody Have a Map?" (Dear Evan Hansen), "Watch What Happens" (Newsies), and "Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story" (Hamilton). But two of my proudest moments include the response to my rendition of "All You Wanna Do" (Six) being "We didn't know you could sing like that," and the response to my rendition of "The Wizard and I" (Wicked) being "And that's how you sing an Elphaba song!"

15. My musical theater blue sky dream roles are Heidi Hansen (Dear Evan Hansen), Katherine Howard (Six), Eliza Schuyler Hamilton (Hamilton), and Yonah (Children of Eden). The latter two because the roles fit my voice amazingly well. The former two because those characters' stories are ones that I desperately want to have the privilege of getting to tell.

16. One of my proudest accomplishments as an accompanist was successfully taking on a Jason Robert Brown song (IYKYK) that one of my voice students picked to perform for her recital song. I wish I had the motivation to learn a song that well when I didn't have a performance to prep for because I'd love to learn another one.

17. I deeply miss teaching voice lessons. Like to the point where I regularly consider offering to do it for free for some people that I know. (And I thankfully have friends who believe that I ought to charge what I'm worth as a professional and would turn me down if I actually offered in reality.)

18. After years in the elementary music classroom teaching kids about the history of people singing to pass the time while they work, one of my favorite parts about my current workplace is how many people do just that. Like, literally fills my heart with so much joy to listen to my co-workers find contentment in their days through singing. (I also love that, for once, people are still willing to sing for the joy of it around me despite knowing of my background as a voice teacher. Most people get self-conscious once they find out I've taught voice lessons and avoid singing around me, assuming that I'm going to label them a "bad singer" even though such a thing is so far from the truth, especially in non-performance situations.)

19. A little under a year ago I left my third and likely final attempt at a career in the field of education. Looking to heal from burnout and a toxic workplace situation, I took a job that a younger me never would have imagined - and I could not be happier to have found my way there. Because it turns out that not only do I generally enjoy the work, but I absolutely DO NOT want to imagine my life without the friends that I've made while working there.

20. I've always had a bit of a workaholic streak, from the time I was a student through all the years I spent working in various areas of the education field to even now. I rarely take PTO, and I often work through breaks/lunches. There was a point not so long ago at my current job where I was the poster child for skipping my morning break (mind you, I wasn't the only one who nearly-always skipped my break, just the one that seemed to get called out for it most often). And then we became very suddenly very short-staffed, and the me who is all-too-familiar with the burnout that comes with just pushing through to get things down while ignoring what a body and brain need in order to stay functional opted to respond to my work friends' rising stress levels by either yelling at or staring them down anytime they threaten to skip or shorten their breaks (or admit that they have already done as much). It's gotten me dubbed "Warehouse Mom" multiple times in recent weeks, and I might be a little too proud of that. (It's also possible that a me who feels like my load is lighter than others and should carry on so that they can rest has needed to be yelled at a time or two as well, to the point that one of my work friends and I now take our morning breaks together in what feels like an unofficial break accountability pact).

21. I am a proud Hufflepuff. As in the "Once I claim you as someone important to me, I will be fiercely loyal for a lifetime unless you deeply betray me" type of Hufflepuff. I generally don't think of myself as the rage-underneath type of Hufflepuff featured so commonly on social media these days. And then I remember how frequently I passionately defend the friends who are most valuable to me. And proceed to suddenly realize that I might be more of the rage-underneath Hufflepuff than I care to admit...

22. I've recently come to the conclusion that part of the reason that social situations are often so extremely tiring for me is that while I can often tell the vibe of a conversation (in the most nebulous way possible), I frequently either have no clue how to match it or have to work extremely hard to match it. And if I fail to match the vibe - due to either exhaustion or simple inability - people get offended, and then things get awkward, and then as the person who accidentally made it awkward, it becomes my responsibility to figure out how on earth to restore the vibe. Which becomes an endless cycle of failure and fatigue.

23. I have a generally quiet voice. Most people assume that this is due to general shyness or a lack of confidence. In reality, it's much more often due to the fact that I often find both the sound and feel of my voice to be horribly overstimulating, and speaking more loudly, while sometimes necessary to communicate, is physically painful (but not in a vocal health sense - in an "I feel like my whole body is about to explode" sense).

24. I was recently inspired by a friend to consider from a big picture standpoint what my greatest passion/purpose as a human being is. Not in a job-related or role-related way but in a "What has God uniquely made me to do?" kind of way. And when I think about what I'm best at and what brings me the most joy, it's helping people - especially those who are down on themselves - to see their great value, particularly through qualities that they miss, underestimate, or ignore. I think it's part of the reason I love doing candid photography of people - so many people hate photos of themselves, but I like to find their beauty in a smile or twinkle of the eye in a moment of natural joy. It's also why I love teaching voice lessons, especially working with tween/teen girls to help discover the beauty and value of their voice. It's why in my younger years (when I had many fewer inhibitions) I would find whatever excuse possible to write long notes to people telling them all of the reasons I thought they were awesome. It's why I'm often so quick to shoot down any unnecessary self-criticism that my friends throw their own way. (And maybe someday I'll figure out how to offer the same kind of grace to myself that I offer to them - because so often I look at the people I've managed to surround myself with, especially in adulthood, and wonder why on earth they tolerate my presence when they as human beings are so many levels of out of my league in every way.)

25. Occasionally good friends drop truth bombs on you that you didn't want to hear but needed to hear. One of my most recent experiences with this was when a friend commented "You can't talk Heidi out of a spiral. She has to talk herself out of the spiral. You just give her some wine and then let her talk at you long enough until she gets there." (Which might be, at least in part, why this blog exists - though my writing is generally fueled by insomnia rather than wine.)