Beginning

Not that this blog is going to be all about God. Or all about running. I guess that I've kind of made "Running with God" my life theme. Or something like that. My faith hasn't been great since starting college. I keep trying to find my way back, but I'm not quite there yet. Maybe it's lost of life priorities. Maybe it's laziness. I guess I'm not sure.

I thought of titling this blog "Into the Void." For a long time my favorite movie was You've Got Mail, and one of the main characters writes an email in which she isn't necessarily looking for a reply but instead is just sending her thoughts into the void. And, sometimes, that's what I need. I've written many a Facebook note as a result of such a need. Sometimes it's nice just putting thoughts out there and feeling like someone will hear them. And finding out if anyone cares. When I walk through times of trial, is there anyone who will listen? It's nice feeling like there at least might be someone out there who understands, whether or not they reply. It's better than bottling up everything like I have for most of my life. And I know that God is there. God listens. God cares. But God doesn't talk back. And sometimes I just need someone to talk back.

And, as scary as it is posting my thoughts for the world, including complete strangers, to see, I do a better job at handling online conflict than I do face-to-face conflict. Emotionally, it feels safer posting things to complete strangers than it does to people who may confront me face-to-face later. Strange, maybe, but true.

Thus after much debating, I decided to start a blog. A place where, at least for now, I can send things into the void. Because through writing I let go. And through writing I heal. And it generally works better when I feel that someone out there might read it. So, for now, this is where I can go when I have a bad day. Or share the strange thoughts about me that I'm afraid to share elsewhere. And we'll see what happens from here.